Writing this blog is a struggle for me. It is hard for me not because I don't have a lot to say, if you know me, you know I have plenty to say. It is a struggle because I want it to be meaningful. If it's meaningful then I have to put myself out there and allow others to read what I learning in my heart, and share not necessarily just with those I want to share with. What will others think? These are pieces of who I am, and who I am becoming.
However, there comes a point where when God asks you to do something and you simply don't that it is disobedience. I have been living in this disobedience in regard to writing on my blog for awhile now... months really... I have lots and lots of excuses, just like I am sure anyone reading this does for their sin/disobedience in their life. Here were some of mine; I am too busy, my house is a mess I should clean it instead, Amirah wore me our and I need a nap too, I just want to rest, and my personal favorite...I had all these ideas while I was driving home yesterday and now I can't think of a single thing to write about, oh well I guess it can wait. Here is me taking the first step to truly be obedient in this blog thing. For me it is simply because God is faithful. If there is one thing I want you to get out of reading this post, these ramblings... it is that God is faithful, He is faithful all the time, and lately for me, He is faithful even when I am not, because He loves me right where I am and I am enough for Him.
He is faithful, he is always faithful...even when I am not. As a christian, and growing up as a christian there were certain things I put in a box titled "How To Be A Good Christian". I big component of this box as I was growing up was not ever the thought that I could earn my way to heaven, thankfully I always knew that was impossible. It was about not wasting what God had given me, living up to the sacrifice He had made for me life. I have always deeply wanted that sacrifice to really mean something in this world because He made it for me. I honestly believe that this is an idea many christians either ignore (a majority in fact), or take to the other extreme and fill their lives with works because they want to please God. They want to bring Him joy. That has always been my heart. This is truly in it's purest form such a wonderful, beautiful, and potentially fruit-bearing way to live your life. There can be an issue though, when it is not in it's purest form... then it becomes about legality, and what you're not doing. That has been me on and off forever.
Ultimately in our unfaithfulness and disobedience He is always faithful, and He meets us where we are at. So here I am committing to writing posts out of obedience to what He has asked me to do because he is faithful.